The Vicar of Dibley — 21 & 22 October 2022

The poster (left) and Programme video
See cast details

(See details of our 2016 production)

Photos by Angus McKay at the Dress Rehearsal, 18th October 2022


Alice (Mel White) and Hugo (Jonathan Neil) show Geraldine (Karina Farnlucher) photos of their honeymoon in Turkey

The phone rings, Alice answers: it's Simon Horton, and Geraldine grabs the phone from her

Dibley Parish Council in session: Jim (Neil Hardinge, at R) gives his apologies for the next meeting to [L to R] Owen (Mike Pennick), Geraldine, Hugo, David (Martin Wellen) and Frank (Chris Millard)

David Horton's sitting room: He invites Geraldine to supper on Saturday, but she tells him that she has to work on her Simon that night

Hugo and Alice arrive to tell them that they're expecting a baby

David is 'overjoyed' at the news!

It's Saturday night and Geraldine is dressed up ready for Simon – but Owen turns up first: "Bloody hell!" he says, and asks her to vet a list of words he can use in polite society

Simon (Rufus Kendall) has arrived, but so have Hugo & Alice, and they've brought Geraldine a pink anorak to wear to make her irresistable

Simon has gone upstairs with a bottle of champagne to await Geraldine, but Frank and Jim arrive with a problem – 'seven down' in the Sun crossword: P?O?????

Simon comes downstairs to find a game of Scrabble in progress: David had also joined them

Eventually they get to bed: and we get a music and video scenario of how life blossoms for them …

David is concerned about the vicar having sex 'willy-nilly' in front of her parishioners – Owen disagrees, so long as he can see the Polaroids

Meanwhile, Geraldine is offering Simon ice cream from her copious store – but he tells her there's 'another girl in Liverpool' – and so the affair ends with her calling him a "treacherous, gigantic elongated bastard"

Geraldine is late for the following committee meeting …

… and is not in the best of moods when she arrives – finally storming out after comparing part of Simon's anatomy to a button mushroom

Alice reminds Geraldine that it's Sunday, and everyone's expecting her in church – but she says she's not doing it.

At the next committee meeting Alice comes up with a good idea: create a digital Simon and sent it round to Geraldine for her to 'kiss and things' and live happily ever after. But she does have a plan B if that fails …

Geraldine is at home gorging herself on chocolates and not wanting visitors …

… then Alice arrives to show her pictures of her baby scan to cheer her up – she gives Alice a letter of resignation to hand to the committee

The committee considers the letter …

… and comes to a decision. Geraldine stays!

Naturally, we have an epilogue – about a new low-fat communion wafer called "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus"


Alice and Hugo now have their baby, also called Geraldine – Hugo brings it to a committee meeting.
It's summer, and there's a water shortage in the village

Alice wonders what would happen if there were to be no air as well as no water:

Due to the water rationing, they decide to drink vodka from a watering can (it's not alcohol; so that's all right)

The next committee meeting is odourous, due to lack of water to wash in – or to do anything else. "Armpits down, boys"

Alice and Geraldine resort to wearing last year's Halloween costumes – then the phone rings: it's the water company – they'll send a man round to talk about the 'long-term solution' to the water problems

Mr Badcock (Jo Smith) from the water company explains the solution: build a new reservoir. Unfortunately, as his demonstration shows, it will flood the village

The committee are against the idea, until they see the amount of compensation payment on offer. "Oh Happy Day!"

David offers champagne to celebrate – but in discussion Geraldine changes their minds, and it ends up with David giving a rousing speech from Henry V …

… and getting a peck on the cheek from Hugo. "Don't make a habit of it!"

Geraldine gets into fund-raising mode – Bros will donate every penny from the release of their new single.

Owen offers to find in Dibley 'a species of animal that isn't found anywhere else in the world'

Geraldine chains herself to the church as a publicity stunt – David is disparaging

Jim asks her if she wants to be relieved, and Alice compares the size of her bladder to Lake Titicaca – which makes Geraldine suddenly want to 'go'. Jim takes over in the chains while she goes home.

Back home, Geraldine hears Jim being interviewed on radio: "The vicar's gone to the toilet. Lovely arse!"

The reporter (Annaliese Farnlucher) outside the church, where all except David are now chained up

Eventually, David joins them too

Mr Badcock returns to announce that the water company has decided not to build the reservoir …

… and is photographed with Owen and his 'blue-crested one-legged chicken'

Alice and Geraldine get ready for the unveiling of the Millennium Statue

David prepares for the unveiling …

… and there she is – the baby Geraldine. Not what ther vicar was expecting!

Naturally, we end with another Epilogue: "What's brown and sticky?" Don't ask Alice, please!

The cast!!

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